2024: The Year of Commencement
My resolutions for 2024 include:
- Write 750 words a weekday or publish a post weekly
Nothing screams “it’s a New Year!” like resuming abandoned habits. For me, that’s writing. I tried to think of a nice way to brand the theme for my posts, then realized not everything needs a personal branding bow. This is a practice in producing more than I consume and sharing what’s on my mind any given week. It’s also a practice in recovering from failure. After leaving the cooperative, I wrote a >75,000 word memoir called Defector about starting the cooperative and the death of my best friend. I emailed scores of agents, but received no offers (although I did have awesome conversations with some really interesting people and learned a ton about the publishing industry — including how freaking hard it is to sell a memoir — ha ha). Given the failure of a book about failure, I felt raw and developed a self-consciousness that felt foreign. I was suddenly self-conscious about everything — was I taking up too much space on the subway? Did I accidentally cut this person in line? Was this text or email too curt? Over the past year, I’m rediscovering the joy of creating and the importance of sowing seeds, releasing an emotional dependence on a desired outcome.
2. Investigate ancestry
I was at a cooperative financing conference, and an impact-focused wealth advisor shared her story of investigating her ancestors in Louisiana. She shared it was one of the most inspiring things she’s done with her life. I know that I’m half Italian and half German (I joke I’m German at work and Italian the rest of my life), but not much else. I know my dad’s parents owned a record distributor (maybe that’s where my entrepreneurial gene comes from?), and my mom’s dad made tires. I know my mom’s mom didn’t grow up with a mom and changed her name from Janet to Mary Lou for unknown reasons (which caused some drama with her Social Security paperwork, but I digress).
I want to know more about where I come from, who I come from. I’m hesitant about Google or the Mormon Church owning my biometric data, so will have to figure out the how here, but I’m excited to learn more about the people who have shaped me in ways known and unknown.
3. Act to get in others’ gratitude journals
I’ve been keeping a gratitude journal for the past six (!) years. It’s something that started with a New Year’s Resolution in 2018, and I’ve continued since. I really love it — taking some time at the end of every day (or, let’s be real, three days later) to write down something(s) from the day that I’m grateful for. But the real kicker is sitting down at the end of every year, usually on the Amtrak home from Syracuse, reading every entry, and drawing common themes. The themes were wide-ranging and sometimes surprising, from the obvious family relationships and love to puppies! cuddles! playtime! to kind front desk people to inspirational biopics to rush tickets to fresh mango to ownership of my time.
This year, we’re leveling up. Instead of just taking note of things I’m grateful for, I want my actions to hopefully end up in someone else’s gratitude journal. Obviously, I have no way of knowing if a) people keep a gratitude journal or b) if I’d make the daily cut, but the point is to do things that incite over-the-top, make-note joy. I have so many ideas — from leaving a note of thanks for someone’s Christmas lights display to giving a 100% tip at every nail appointment- now I’ve just got to follow through.
4. Practice non-judgement
Judgement? I don’t know her in 2024. This one’s a tricky one for me. For one, I delight in judgement. Before you go judging me as a monster, let me advocate for gossip. Gossip is an incredible connector, especially of women. When I go back home, my mom, sister, and I will circle around the kitchen table and share a rundown on the lives of family members, ladies in my mom’s piano class, college roommates, former co-workers, you name it. When Scandoval hit, you better believe that my group chats were popping off. There is nothing quite like huddling on the couch with your longtime girlfriends, drinking rose and eating takeout while yelling at Vanderpump Rules on TV.
So, I’m obviously very pro innocent gossip that bonds, but I want to step away from judgement. I’ve been humbled by life every time I’ve thought, “I would NEVERRRRR.” On my less-than-saintly days, I’m known to say people with X jobs are boring or people with Y spending habits are vapid or Z economic ideologies are delulu. I want to focus on staying in my own lane.
More than that, I want to stop judging myself. I have been so freaking harsh on myself these past couple of years and was really grateful when my therapist introduced me to Dr. Kristin Neff’s work on self-compassion. I notice this manifesting especially when I look at other women’s bodies (those college students in crop tops at my heels dance class are a killer), but it’s time to celebrate our unique realities.
5. Prioritize and invest in friendships
In 2023, I got married and moved in with my husband. I love living with him and am really grateful for our relationship, but we both have an understanding that asking the other to fulfill 100% of social needs is a recipe for dependency and disaster. My husband relies on his friends for soccer games and board game marathons. I rely on mine for extroverted energy, reality TV binges, and classical dance performances.
More than that, we both recognize that the friendships in our lives have outlived our relationship, sometimes by decades, and deserve investment. From big trips like a trip to Antigua and Trinidad with my besties from grad school to evening plays to 1:1 dinners, I’m excited to invest in deepening the relationships with my cherished friends in 2024.
6. Read 24 books
This is another carry over resolution from previous years. In 2016, it was my New Year’s Resolution to “read more: one both a month!!,” according to my iPhone note. In late 2021, I was introduced to the magic of audiobooks through Libby (thank you New York and Brooklyn Public Libraries!).
The 24 books resolution only applies to physical books because, as much as I love audiobooks, I don’t think they’re a substitute for diving into text on a page. At two books a month, reading doesn’t feel like a chore, and there’s also space to take on some real hunkers (think The Power Broker, which I still have not finished). I used to focus a lot on non-fiction, then found myself gravitating to fiction, and recently self-help (won’t reflect on that one too much — ha ha), and am excited to see what I feel called to read in 2024.
Summary:
Overall, I hope this to be a year of commencement (namely career stuff around running a doula business and being a Broadway producer), whereas 2022 was my year of hibernation and 2023 my year of preparation. I also hope this will be a year of continuing: continuing a practice of gratitude, friendship, reading, writing, and creating. Cheers to a beautiful 2024 for everyone!
